PREDICTIONS 03.19.08

The year 2009 will give us the option of a permanent tan, in the form of a dye job that dyes the dermis, in the way that a tattoo does. This stain permanently colors the skin a dark brown, causing what seems to be a deep tan. An unexpected consequence of the popularity of these chemical tans, however, will be that they will also fade with time, as a tattoo does, and, after about 20 years, the owner of these permanent tans will appear bright orange rather than brown. These so called “orange people” will actually take a strange pride in their coloration, in part because the permanent tan treatment will be so expensive that being bright orange will be a sign of status.
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The next popular trend in pop religion will be Satanism, which will enjoy unexpected national attention and a boost in membership when Justin Timberlake joins the Church of Satan in 2012.